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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?